What They Don’t Tell You About Motherhood

Being a parent is no easy task. Life as you know it completely changes. “Have a kid!” they said. “It’ll be fun!” they say. When I was pregnant with my son, people only talked about labor and delivery and the first six weeks. I was inundated with information on like:

• Real labor vs. Braxton Hicks
• Epidural or not
• You may tear (OUCH)!
• How happy I’ll be once I lay eyes on them
• Irish twins are a thing
• Oh, and forget about ever sleeping again

Yet, no one ever gave me the full description of a mom.

Think of a time when you were looking for a new job. You searched through the career section of companies you were interested in applying to. Maybe you had an idea of the position you wanted to apply to because of the job description. And you get the job (yay!), but just days in, you realize you will be overworked and underpaid because they missed a few bullets on that job description. Follow me for a minute. Below is an example of a job that I would apply to.

Moms-R-Us is Hiring!

Location: Work from home

Salary: Priceless

Job Description: Moms-R-Us encourages all women to become mothers. Motherhood is the highest position with the greatest reward. You will cherish every moment of cooing with your precious baby and watching them grow.

Benefits: A lifetime of happy memories, countless smiles, and a new best friend.

Experience: A happy, healthy relationship with your partner (preferred but not required); a woman of sound mind and makes a consensual decision to have children (required).

However… if the job description were accurate, it would go something like this:

Mom Central Needs You!

Location: Anywhere (from home, while you’re on vacation, and when you are sick, too).

Salary: No monetary compensation.

Job Duties:

• Giving birth
• Nursing or making bottles
• Making meals once introduced to food (indefinitely)
• Washing clothes (18 years minimum)
• Bathing (six to seven years minimum)
• Teaching life fundamentals
• Reading
• Providing financial support (18 years minimum but more than likely much longer).
• Listen to backtalk (could begin as young as three years old until indefinitely)
• Discipline
• Entertain… indefinitely if they’re an only child
• Nurture
• Tidy the house
• Do the dishes or load the dishwasher
• Work your 9-5 job
• Pay the bills
• Make time for self-care
• Nurture personal relationships (partner, friends, family)

Benefits: Creating a legacy that will hopefully live on after you’ve passed.

Experience: Lots of patience

That’s a position I would skim by simply because the math doesn’t add up. I only have two hands, and that sounds like the work of 12 (shoulder shrugs). The job above is a never-ending list of things moms are responsible for whether they’re with a partner or not. Did your family and friends share your duties as a mom, or were you blindsided like I was?

All jokes aside, I love being a mom. This is truly a role that works you to the core, but I love it!

You can never truly be prepared for motherhood, but what’s one key thing you wish you knew before becoming a mom?