The struggle of juggling motherhood and wifely duties is real. Children are more likely to seek mom first, even when Dad or someone else is available. Studies show that a mother’s physical and emotional presence provides babies with protection from stress and emotional regulation, both of which are important to healthy brain development. Whereas when Dad nurtures a child, the oxytocin produced makes a child more playful, encouraging children to be independent and explore. That explains why it is always playtime with Dad.
Now let’s define wifely duties. Since everyone’s list may be different, I will share the Google definition. The duties of a spouse are to love, support, cherish, and respect each other. And, yes, making each other feel happy, including sexual obligations. Interestingly, folding laundry and loading the dishwasher did not make the cut. Hmmm, I guess they could be a form of support. With all that comes with being a wife, mom, and everything in between, it is important to make a plan.
Being a wife and a mom will always be your top priority. Everything else is tertiary. Whatever your roles and responsibilities consist of, be sure to prioritize your tasks. What must be done right away, and what can wait? It is also important to identify your goals within each area. Are you trying to drink more water? Incorporate a bi-weekly date night? Teaching your little one their ABCs? Set SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic/Relevant, Time-Based) for yourself. Well, include your partner as your accountability buddy. This will also take items off of your plate while helping you evenly distribute or ask for help.
My independent game is strong. I always want to ensure things are done correctly, or should I say, done my way. However, this creates stress and anxiety and never ends well for me. In the past, I had turned down help when I needed it to prove that I was Superwoman. But I’m not. One of my favorite quotes is, “I see all these moms who can do everything, and I think I should have them do stuff for me. Statistics say that being a mom is equivalent to 2.5 jobs. That does not include your 9-5, self-care, or managing other relationships. Word of advice: Do not overwhelm yourself and take one task at a time.
Give yourself some grace. It is completely normal to be unsuccessful or make mistakes along the way. Instead, applaud yourself for getting through the day because that is an accomplishment. I encourage every mom to ask for help when needed. Your future self will thank you. Your future self could be an hour to a few days after the offer was made. I remember when my mother-in-law offered to watch my son at the house so that my husband and I could rest. Two years later, I still regret turning down her offer.
How do you balance being a mom and your responsibilities? Do you have a routine in place? Please feel free to share your questions, tips, or advice with us in the comments. We would love to hear from you.